Wednesday night... We as humans constantly procrastinate,[foreword-today's post is not a lecture or a list of regrets or consequences from procrastination] but nonetheless I feel we must make headway in some form or another. Inspiration has been a bird on my shoulder these last few days, pushing me to expand my horizons, explore my curiosities and I have grasped onto this beautiful motivating force that I hope does not flee anytime soon,  I have used this motivation to makeover my surroundings, my life, myself. There are an abundant amount of woes circulating in my brain but instead of focusing myself in on the negative I have been taking on whatever I see in my immediate path that I want to change, things that will brighten my day, be they physical, mental and/or emotional. Maybe this is a justification for pushing important things aside or a quick fix to temporarily change my state of mind. However, I can now say all of my arts and crafts are organized, and my life in general is more clutter free. A productive procrastinator some may say... that may be but more importantly I am creative, a visionary, a girl scout... oh wait, wrong list. I am a citizen on the bandwagon of change and there is no written route for change, I have embraced my individuality and have begun to use my talent of twisting ordinary circumstances to bring some alegría to the less than extraordinary day to day. Feeling: Satisfied. 

Monday's confessional: I am so scared of becoming another statistic. Lord please do not let me get pregnant and never have a chance to develop a career or make a difference in life. I am more frightened that life will stay the same than I am scared of change. I want change, bring it on baby. I am intimidated by not being able to see the future. It is hard to put yourself into action when you cannot see past this month. I do not know for certain where my life is headed, am I currently holding myself back, afraid to let go of people or things? I have heard that you should surround yourself with things and people that bring you up, inspire you but lately my life is so mundane. I am so lazy, I am in this moment disgusted by how lazy I am and maybe a little nauseous because I have not yet eaten today. I am in this period of my life where I am looking in at myself doing nothing, I am pondering what I will do next instead of doing anything! What have I got to lose? I feel that I have lost myself. I do not even know who I am! [My exclamation marks are me yelling at myself]
                     I look out at my patio, curtains wide open allowing the omnipotent rays of sunlight to creep in and maybe shed some light on where I am, who I am, what I am. My book shelf is full of lies, I haven't read a book in so long, I was so lazy this last semester that I received for the first time ever only nearly passing grades in the two classes that required me to read. I mourn inside from loneliness but I don't reach out to others so it is inevitable that I would be lonely. I will no longer be a princess, up on her high horse waiting to be rescued by prince charming, living in her self created, self endued misery. I must rescue myself. Today is a day of change. If I start out with nothing more than an altered attitude towards life and an inner hope for myself then today will have been a success. Here's a toast to taking life into your own hands, to finding strength despite feeling your body crumble, to empowering your mind instead of leaving it to rot.
        [This picture? The most amazing sunset I have been fortunate enough to witness.]

I hope that everyone had a Sunday precisely to their liking; whether that means that you went to church or slept in late, cleaned and organized, worked or just went for a walk. Today I realized that family is what you make of it, who you make family out to be can change, grow and expand depending on a simple friend and soul connection or to some people remain limited to a blood line. The beautiful thing about home being where the heart is is that it is portable, the feeling, the connection. Your actual family may not always be by your side but a human's capability to connect with people, cherish friendships and love one another never ends and stays with you no matter where you are. Your heart is a canvas, a tool box, while it does pump blood and keep you alive it always holds a spot for the ones you love. How beautiful is the heart,  a metaphorical container that expands as you expand, that has unlimited gigabytes, that can hold an infinite amount of love! I think that love is the answer to many concepts, questions, problems. We were granted with a magical feeling, that that is love. We are told to love our neighbor, sister, brother, but why stop there? Next time you stare at a stranger try appreciating them as a complex human being, an equal that also has the capacity to love infinitely, and love them. Love one another and appreciate and love yourself. I love that no matter how broke I am-Love is free. <3

Saturday... How do we interpret our dreams? Maybe we should not read too much into them. A dream about somebody invading your personal space? Perhaps my subconscious was just wandering...I know that there is not a worry that these particular people are "All up in my Grill." What about the part with me having 3 snakes? Although in the end the small yellow one killed itself in the bag. Please don't think I am disturbed. Honestly I have not a clue. Immediately after I was awoken by a phone call and when I hung up I ran to my fish to make sure that he was ok... no worries my friends... he has survived, it was not pet intuition. 

Happy Friday to you, or is it? When you find yourself a little down, what is your pick me up? Do you need a pick me up to overcome the feeling or do you quaintly sit and wait for it to pass? I do not have that power. I must bring myself up. I have found that in these winter days the mixture of solitude and freezing temperatures is not great for my body or spirit. So instead of acting out the cooking channel's beautiful use of ginger in my kitchen or adding that extra kick of style to my bedroom from Martha Stewart's home living I have resorted to sleeping in late and web browsing until I eventually took the plunge today and started this blog. Today I will leave you with a photograph, which if you follow me you will soon see will be a regular occurrence. On this day I am these trees... yes both of them. I am brittle but strong, losing my leaves but hopeful that they soon will be replenished. Cold. Colorful and wind swept with a hint of hopeless romanticism.