I am everyone and everything.

My room is a dark place that doesn't feel like my own. The walls are tacked with pictures that I put up because I felt that I needed to. Cold. Sometimes temperature, sometimes the feeling. Shelves that I try to organize but really, what's the use? Bags of bags that I never use. A bulletin board that I thought would motivate me stays the same, old pictures that look to me as rather mundane. This mixture is not working. His stuff, my stuff. What stuff? We don't even use this stuff. It's just... Stuff. Although I've given much away, I don't know that giving it all away is the solution. I'd rather find it a home. If I move, can I have my own room? Will new walls fill this void that I have? Maybe I can not share a space until I have had my own. I have had my own though. I want others to change me, my disposition, to be my thriving force. I am realizing that it is a lot of pressure to put on the world. I should probably be my own motivation. This may sound rather silly. I realize that it must be a feeling within myself, however I was hoping it would come from some outside source. Maybe that way I could blame others when I don't have the energy to make things happen and life isn't going my way. Knowing that it's all on me, that's a lot of pressure. What do I do with it? Does it start with me changing my room? How much of it is up to me, there are other factors that affect me, my life and my space. The people that fill the space beside me. The energy of the space itself. Then there is me. How can I change the energy and be sure that I am surrounding myself with the right people? Should I stop focusing on others and just focus on myself? While yes seems to be the easiest answer, it is not the easiest choice to make. It is not a choice really, focus on me or focus on everyone and everything else in your life, it is a simultaneous living situation, it is inevitable, me, myself and everything and everyone. You can not just be YOU, I can not just be me, we are affected by all and so we are ourselves, and everyone and everything.