These are my confessions...

This may not be a thoughtful whisper. This may not be un pensamiento profundo. This may just be a ramble. 

I am afraid that if my friends knew how lame that I really am when I am by myself that they would rather not be my friends. Admittedly, I have no idea where I am going in life and it scares me. I would rather listen to somber music and soak in the misery than move on. I am drinking the most bitter wine just to feel the buzz. I am bored. I am desperate. I am lost. I talk too much. The bitter taste somehow serves as a metaphor for the bitterness of life. Maybe it doesn't have to be this hard. However, I am not one to take the easy way out. It is astonishing to realize that with billions of other human beings on this planet you can really only depend on yourself. You are the only person that is there for yourself, 100% of the time. It actually feels good to be buzzed. My head feels fuzzy. Much better than clear. A clear mind, when there is so much to think about, is quite overwhelming. I would like to be given a storage unit here. Just me and this room. And I would use it to scream. I would use it to spin around in circles. I would use it to sing without shame. How can life be so cruel? There are so many choices to make. Too many. Do you all know how amazing Lindsey Stirling's music is? She inspires me. http://www.youtube.com/user/lindseystomp

Things that bother me: 
Stop telling me that I look like I have lost weight. 
Stop resenting me for being thin although I eat a lot. 
My roommates. 
My Etnología class. It is not my fault that you put me to sleep... Almost every single time. 
Being broke. 
Feeling vulnerable. 
Don't text me if you don't intend to carry on the conversation... it kills me. 

However, you have to learn to let go, which I am working on every day. These are mostly pet peeves not true concerns. 
I'm not actually crazy, although I'll tell you that I am. 
I sometimes lose my self respect but deep down know that I am valuable and worthy. 
It's easier to joke around than be serious... so I do. 
I am so self-conscious deep down. But surface me doesn't show it. 
I often think about whether these honest blogs will come back to bite me in the ass some day. 
I admittedly want to be more honest here but am afraid to be. 
I am often lonely. 
I fill my voids with music. 
However, I always try to wear just one headphone so I can hear the sounds around me. 
I am guilty for not feeling as guilty as I feel I should for my past mistakes. 
I am so horny. All the time. Men, don't you think for a second that girls don't think about sex, romance or passion as much as you if not more. 
I have realized that we are all animals. 
Although you may look in the mirror and see what you perceive to be a human face. You're probably a lion like me. Or a dog. Or a cat. Or maybe even a reptile. 
I often tune out of class to write down my feelings. 
I sing out loud secretly hoping that people will hear me and like it. 
I write poetry/my profound thoughts/theories in the metro. 
Although I really am responsible, studious and intellectual... I am also lazy, careless and a procrastinator. 
My spelling is poor. I use dictionary.com more than the bible. 
I have no idea where I truly stand religiously. 
However I would never deny my belief in God. 
I secretly want my future husband to be religious/at least believe. 
I am so afraid of getting pregnant/getting married/my future life.

I don't even know where to start when it comes to my photography. I don't know how it works. I know how to make the picture brighter or darker. Slower shutter speed or faster shutter speed. I can't give you advice about which camera to buy because I am not a sales marketer. I don't believe in editing my pictures to the point of fake. I know that photographers don't make a lot of money but I will never stop. Ever. 

I am a lover. I am so passionate. I am so flirty. I am so full of life, to the point of bursting sometimes. If I did not communicate with others I would not only not be myself but I would probably spontaneously combust. 
Thanks for getting to know me by reading this blog. I am sure there are many more things that I have deep down/have not yet confessed. However, this was enough for me in this moment. Enough to get off my chest. I often have a hard time confessing things to myself so it's nice to be able to make confessions to myself while confessing publicly all of my truths as well. 
I almost always write things hoping that others will read them. 

I have ALWAYS wanted to publish a book and when my friends tell me that my life could be a movie I consider documenting everything. Believe you me, this is nothing. Just wait for my book one day... I sometimes feel like I have a whole world unexplored...