Why do we write?
Do we write for ourselves?
If so, why do I feel the need for other people to read what I write? (Despite a certain permanent fear of rejection that often prevents me from posting in the moment and postponing it until the point of it either being forgotten or too far from the initial date that it becomes irrelevant.)
Am I looking for acceptance? Affirmation? "My weakness I feel I must finally show." -Mumford and Sons. "Awake my soul" just came on my spotify.
I have a love/hate relationship with technology.
I am conflicted in many ways... and I say that with an implied meaning of multiple aspects of life. On a note back to technology. I acknowledge that I am addicted. I acknowledge that my eyes have twitched, my head has hurt, my back has ached and my stomach has gotten queazy all from staring at a virtual screen and a social networking site for more hours than my physical body could/should handle. I have stayed in all day only to find that I have wasted a day at my computer. Getting lost in the virtual world.
It is hard to be a photographer and edit as well as upload and promote my photos. Do I want to be famous? Must I follow others notions of acceptance in order to succeed? Must I edit every picture in order to be seen as good? What is "good?" I suppose that is relative. I want to be good. Hell, I want to be great. I sometimes don't write because I don't want to get lost in myself. After all, what do I know? Not very much. I would often rather spend my time learning through what other people know, reading. My words, don't feel worthy. I don't value my own experiences.
I think that facebook has made me a droid. I think that it has made all of us droids. I don't know if the creators knew the effect that it would have on every user's life. What is the point? A replacement of e-mail? A friend zone? A platform for discussion? A place that epitomizes our right to freedom of expression... more or less?
I often think to myself, what will happen when I die? What will I leave behind? What kind of legacy? And I often fear that with all of my life's work of photographs on hard drives, if earth was to be attacked I would have nothing to show. I would be left, dirty on the floor, with nothing but memories of images. WHY do I photograph in such abundance? In such an addictive, meticulous manner?
"That's just who she is," my friends say when we discuss my photographic habits.
My cousin Jo-Carol said in one of her songs, "And when all is done we leave behind a body of work to reflect our mind."
Do we write for ourselves?
If so, why do I feel the need for other people to read what I write? (Despite a certain permanent fear of rejection that often prevents me from posting in the moment and postponing it until the point of it either being forgotten or too far from the initial date that it becomes irrelevant.)
Am I looking for acceptance? Affirmation? "My weakness I feel I must finally show." -Mumford and Sons. "Awake my soul" just came on my spotify.
I have a love/hate relationship with technology.
I am conflicted in many ways... and I say that with an implied meaning of multiple aspects of life. On a note back to technology. I acknowledge that I am addicted. I acknowledge that my eyes have twitched, my head has hurt, my back has ached and my stomach has gotten queazy all from staring at a virtual screen and a social networking site for more hours than my physical body could/should handle. I have stayed in all day only to find that I have wasted a day at my computer. Getting lost in the virtual world.
It is hard to be a photographer and edit as well as upload and promote my photos. Do I want to be famous? Must I follow others notions of acceptance in order to succeed? Must I edit every picture in order to be seen as good? What is "good?" I suppose that is relative. I want to be good. Hell, I want to be great. I sometimes don't write because I don't want to get lost in myself. After all, what do I know? Not very much. I would often rather spend my time learning through what other people know, reading. My words, don't feel worthy. I don't value my own experiences.
I think that facebook has made me a droid. I think that it has made all of us droids. I don't know if the creators knew the effect that it would have on every user's life. What is the point? A replacement of e-mail? A friend zone? A platform for discussion? A place that epitomizes our right to freedom of expression... more or less?
I often think to myself, what will happen when I die? What will I leave behind? What kind of legacy? And I often fear that with all of my life's work of photographs on hard drives, if earth was to be attacked I would have nothing to show. I would be left, dirty on the floor, with nothing but memories of images. WHY do I photograph in such abundance? In such an addictive, meticulous manner?
"That's just who she is," my friends say when we discuss my photographic habits.My cousin Jo-Carol said in one of her songs, "And when all is done we leave behind a body of work to reflect our mind."
Admittedly I am jealous of those that receive attention in the public eye for their photographs. I feel so lost sometimes. It often promotes my internal drive and a little competition is healthy, right? Even if the other competitor is oblivious?
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