Happy Birthday my dear brother.

Today is a joyous day for it is the 19th birthday of my brother Alexander. I have spent the majority of today cleaning and got up at 8:30 to find that my brother was no where in sight. Turns out he borrowed my tripod and recorded himself singing in the dewy morning air across the street in a field of tall yellowish grass. I couldn't be happier. While he is napping, because of course he didn't sleep all night, I have been thinking about how happy I am to have him in my life. Here's a poem to you little brother.


Today is your birthday little brother.
We have so much in common, we even share the same mother.
I cleaned our house, made you tea and wonderful chinese food, all because I love you and want to put you in a good mood.
You woke up today looking for adventure.
I hope that you receive all that and more.
When you awake from your nap we two will explore.
I have a present or two that I plan to give you today.
And lots more love, fun and music are coming your way.
God bless you today and always, I thank God you were born. For if it were not for him and our mother I would not have your beautiful companionship and a little brother that I adore.
Happy Birthday little big one. Congratulations on making it this far, I am so proud of you, your accomplishments and the man that you are becoming. Having you here with me this last month is the biggest present that I could have. Because nobody could and ever will replace your presence.
All my love,
Sissy. <3 :)

Here's to a day of Adventure, may later I will share the details of our fun.

Fuck it, I'm blogging...

You oversee your own life.

I am a box overflowing with trash, donate-now items, recyclable bits and pieces and photographs. Haha. I'm just kidding, but it is how I feel. I feel like my dirty home. I feel like my stress over the upcoming week's events. I feel like the dirty face that I still have not washed today because I have been distracted by cleaning, cooking, and other miscellaneous activities. We take on our emotions, our actions, our surroundings in a physical and mental sense. And I am trying to learn mind over matter. I am trying to learn the secret of energy and that what you put out you will receive, I promise I am trying. I am trying to have patience. I am trying to forgive and forget. I practice breathing, I push back tears and I call to myself strength. I am working on earning money and never placing its importance above the necessary immediate use. Andsometimes I fall, I feel like I am falling. I am Alice in Wonderland. I am exploring new places, ideas, people, and celebrating life's many un-birthdays. The other day my brother asked me why I can't just blog about the happy things that we do together. So, I said ok, I will talk about the park we visited and the joy that I got from laying in the sun and taking pictures and hugging trees but when I had the opportunity to blog about it, I didn't. My brother played at an open mic night and my boyfriend told him that he should only play his own songs from now on to showcase his own talent. To this my brother replied saying that most of his own songs are too dark and unhappy to perform. I thought it was funny that we both allow ourselves, our minds and our bodies to soak up the happiness of our experiences but when it comes to expressing ourselves it is the frustration, heart break, bitter feelings that we write about. Maybe it's because it is easy to be happy but it's much harder to handle unhappiness, stress, frustration and that we need to express ourselves when we feel that way in order to get it off of our chests, out of our minds and put it up to something other than ourselves to deal with it. However, I have taken some beautiful pictures this summer. Had some great and fun friend bonding experiences. Have had my brother move in with me and am preparing for the biggest traveling adventure of my life. I am searching and finding myself daily. Sometimes I hide in the closet or find pieces of myself on top of the fridge, man I'm sneaky. Haha. My brother and I made a long list of things that make us happy in life. In fact, that was what I planned to blog about a few days ago. Things that make me happy, like finding treasures at a yard sale that you impose yourself on because these two people are hanging up garage sale signs for Saturday and your brother asks if they have bar stools for sale because even though you e-mailed someone on craigslist and thought you had an agreement about bar stools it turns out he wanted much more for all of them than you are willing to pay and these two people say yes, but they are square and we say that's ok and they say $8 for both and you say ok thanks and get their address for tomorrow's yard sale and drive away and then flip-a-bitch and ask them if we could take those bar stools off their hands tonight and they say yes, I'll meet you at our house and then we end up looking through all of their stuff and taking home much more than you had planned but are extremely happy with your decision because it means that you invested in your home, which is where you live and is your place of rest and is your safe zone and for that, it was all worth it, and for that, I LOVE yard sales. :) Off to take care of business. Until next time